Anna Surti Ariani, S.Psi., M.Psi., Psi said that basically at elementary school age children begin to search for an identity. One of them is making friends or spending time with certain groups.
“Usually at this age they already like to go out with certain groups that are considered to be them,” he explained, speaking to detikHealth, Thursday (20/7/2017).
It’s just that in order to be included in the group sometimes all the members set certain requirements. It is not uncommon for this requirement to seem strange, such as having to wear the same clothes or other identities. “If it’s not the same, it’s not considered in the group,” he continued.
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The problem is exacerbated by parenting styles that fail to lead children to form positive friendships. “If they are directed, the children know the differences are correct. But if they are not led, children who think it does not fit the criteria are seen as different and it seems to “attack” their group, “he explained.
The familiarly known psychologist Nina added that parents themselves often give examples of bad attitudes, if only in the form of jibing or fashionable comments.
“Sometimes parents’ words are often harsh, or the social environment and neighbors often convey it that way. Parents, if something is wrong, punish them immediately, then punish them too much. This is also recorded by the child, ”explained the practicing psychologist. at the Integrated Clinic of the University of Indonesia and the Three Generations.
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Nina added that it could also be seen in children’s conversations, even in the jokes she made between her friends. “Jokes about children are now uncontrolled, as the use of the word kill is common. Apart from that, media like television also play a role in spreading things that are not too positive, for example through soap operas, ”he added.
After being recorded in their brain, Nina mentions this stuff and then becomes a benchmark for children’s behavior.
“So because the benchmark is like that, if it isn’t balanced with the discussion and the direction, it can actually make kids think of bullying other people,” he concluded.
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